Fuck golf

[Felix]

I'm surprised there hasn't been more opposition.

I've said the same things you've expressed here countless times....unfortunately I'm a glutton for punishment and that's why I keep going back....

[campinfool]

Golf ranks right up there with tennis for me. The only thing worse than Golf and Tennis are playing Golf and Tennis or watching a movie about Golf or Tennis.

[smackaholic]

Tennis was extremely watchable during the Borg-Mac wimbledon wars. Since then, not so much.

[Goober McTuber]

If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.

WTF?!?

[Truman]

*UPDATE*

Golf still sucks.

^^^^^^^^^^
This.

I will begrudgingly allow myself to be dragged out to play about once a summer on “reunion” weekends. Generally, the time invested in this exercise would be better spent driving an ice-pick into my molars with a ball-peen hammer.

Oh, it’s not that I don’t enjoy the camaraderie of my buds; strolling through magnificent tick-infested woods in search of no less than three sleeves of balls; or even subsidizing the beer-cart skank’s brats for another year. It’s just that I completely suck at the game. If I’m going to dedicate half my day towards an activity, I’d rather it be towards completing a long run – preferably a marathon.

Got no bitch with those who play – it’s just not for me. Rack this thread.

[Screw_Michigan]

Tennis was extremely watchable during the Borg-Mac wimbledon wars. Since then, not so much.

I like watching women's tennis. I really could care less about the men's side.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.

WTF?!?

Putting Spray's look-at-me! shock humor aside, nobody questioned the skill required to play golf at a high level. If conversations were delicious chicken breasts deep fried in lard, perhaps Spray could follow along.

[Left Seater]

I enjoy the occasional round. There aren't many other activities where it is totally acceptable to be outside and drinking during the work day and still get a paycheck while doing it.

I also enjoy going to the tourneys. I enjoy picking a pairing and walking the round with them. Amazing to see some of their recoveries when they do make a mistake. When I do that it often leads to double or triple bogey. For them it means par. Nothing wrong with the free booze and shade in the corporate tents along 17 and 18 either.

[Dinsdale]

As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...

When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.

[Goober McTuber]

Televised golf also is the best sport for commercials, or lack of.

EVen when there are commercials, they're not glitzy productions of unrealistic diversity: conservativley dressed negros discussing the perks of their financial portfolio with a puzzled white person. That just doesn't happen in the real world.

That’s because in the real world, conservatively dressed negros have better things to do than to interact with a fat fucking loser like you.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

~cue Masters theme song~

As you walk the 18th at T1B, you can't help but breathe in the hallowed glory of smack and remember the legends: Moreese, Euroclone, MCET. The racked posts are in full bloom and each poster primed to make their mark on history. Hello, friends. I'm Jim Nantz, and you're watching Cul de Smack on T1B, a message board unlike any other.

[Dinsdale]

if I was any good at it I'd probably love it

I don't commit myself to any one skill level.

I'll go somewhere between 80-ish and 95 at random.

I think it's in proportion to BAC. I gots mad short game when sober.

[Dr_Phibes]

I used to laugh at it, the new arcade for the plebs. Tried it, got humiliated - and got absolutely hooked. There isn't a better day out.

[Dinsdale]

I used to laugh at it, the new arcade for the plebs. Tried it, got humiliated - and got absolutely hooked. There isn't a better day out.

^^^^ gets it.

Best way to fuck up an otherwise beautiful day.

[Truman]

It's a good drunk.

/s/

Truman

[Carson]

Any sport in which you can drink beer while doing it is great.

[Derron]

And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.

[Screw_Michigan]

And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.

Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.

Why isn't there any Sat AM Masters coverage?

[Mace]

So the next time you hit a ball in the sand, go yell at some sheep.

They're far more cooperative if you whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

Btw, golf is a great game and Masters weekend is, like opening day of baseball, a true sign of spring. Don't like golf? Great, don't play. That way the groups playing behind you won't have to wait 20 minutes between shots while you're hacking your way to the green. A win-win for everyone.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Don't like golf? Great, don't play.

Dude, you just blew my mind.

[socal]

As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...

When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.

Yeah, resting on a fairway is "in play". Tremendous "action".

[Dr_Phibes]

Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.

It's all about man's quest for redemption, imagine a Bryan Adams song coming to life. It doesn't get any better than that.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

And if you watch it on tv, you can get to see the little bitch Tiger melt down after shanking it right on a par 3. He throws his club then kicks it, dropping f bombs the whole way. Fucking little bitch..8 back says your not in the hunt..best text up some skanks for 19th hole action.

Tiger's a fucking bitch, but yet Dins and B_Suck are falling over each other to suck his dick.

Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in? What's he done since he wrapped his sled around a tree to validate picking him?

Where is Tiger sitting right now?

[Screw_Michigan]

Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in?

Fanboys who want to say "TOLD YOU SO" if/when he finally does win another major.

[Dinsdale]

As far as watching golf goes, be it in person or on television...

When you compare the major sports (not counting racing), if you break down the amount of time the ball is actually in play, it's not even a close contest. Golf has several times more action than any other sport.

Yeah, resting on a fairway is "in play". Tremendous "action".

You've been assessed a penalty stroke for failure to use brain before employing keyboard.

Did you know there's a calculator included with your operating system, and probaby even on your cell phone, too?

Should I clarify and say "when the ball is moving"?

Again, it's not even a contest, and it's not even up for debate to those who passed some sort of grade school math class.

[Felix]

Yeah, what's with all the suckers who still pick Tiger to win every major he plays in?

Fanboys who want to say "TOLD YOU SO" if/when he finally does win another major.

what's with all the hate for woods?
flat out, the tour is better off if he's playing well and in contention....

[Screw_Michigan]

How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.

He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being. Enough said.

[BSmack]

How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.

Increase ratings, increased attendance, increased advertiser and sponsor money...

... all lead to bigger purses.

In 1996, just before Woods won The Masters, total purses were $70.7 million. By 2000, purses had more than doubled to $164.4 million. By 2008 they were $278.95 million. Since 2008, with Tiger in his worst slump ever and the 1% economy flat purses have also stayed flat at $275.5 million.

Every professional golfer who has teed it up since 1997 owes a monumental debt of gratitude to Tiger Woods. Period. The only players in history who have benefited Tour players as much or more than Tiger are Walter Hagen, for making professionalism respectable and Arnold Palmer, who moved golf into the TV age.

[Felix]

How, exactly, is the tour better when he's in contention, other than increased ratings? Please cite specific examples.

Increase ratings, increased attendance, increased advertiser and sponsor money...

... all lead to bigger purses.

In 1996, just before Woods won The Masters, total purses were $70.7 million. By 2000, purses had more than doubled to $164.4 million. By 2008 they were $278.95 million. Since 2008, with Tiger in his worst slump ever and the 1% economy flat purses have also stayed flat at $275.5 million.

Every professional golfer who has teed it up since 1997 owes a monumental debt of gratitude to Tiger Woods. Period. The only players in history who have benefited Tour players as much or more than Tiger are Walter Hagen, for making professionalism respectable and Arnold Palmer, who moved golf into the TV age.

I was going to say it's because he's opened a lot of doors that were previously closed.....he's made the game much more accessible to a wider variety of people.....but Bsmack covered a lot of other ground

what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.

Come on, he merely "got away from his Buddhism." Happens to the best of us.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.

Who cares? He can hit a little white ball with a stick and he makes rich guys even richer. Get your priorities straight.

[Screw_Michigan]

He's a piece of shit and a deplorable human being.

Who cares? He gives me erections.

Sincerely,

BSuck, Dins

[Screw_Michigan]

what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious

Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?

[BSmack]

I was going to say it's because he's opened a lot of doors that were previously closed.....he's made the game much more accessible to a wider variety of people.....but Bsmack covered a lot of other ground

what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious

There's that too. Every Saturday at my local muni there are kids playing golf with the First Tee program. That program started in late 1997. Anybody remember what happened in April of 1997?

[BSmack]

what exactly did he DO TO YOU that's inspired all this animosity? just curious

Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?

Did he steal away a Perkins waitress from you?

[Felix]

Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?

yeah you need to spell it out...

please expound on how his actions have had a direct adverse impact on you....some specific examples would be appreciated....

he didn't ruin your marriage, he didn't harm your children, he didn't steal money from you, he didn't kick you out of your house, he didn't steal your job, and a myriad of other things that had no effect on you personally..... in short he didn't do a fucking thing to you....but I can see you're pretty upset about this...

so by all means, clue me in....

[Goober McTuber]

Are you seriously this fucking dense? Do I have to spell it for you?

yeah you need to spell it out...

please expound on how his actions have had a direct adverse impact on you....some specific examples would be appreciated....

he didn't ruin your marriage, he didn't harm your children, he didn't steal money from you, he didn't kick you out of your house, he didn't steal your job, and a myriad of other things that had no effect on you personally..... in short he didn't do a fucking thing to you....but I can see you're pretty upset about this...

so by all means, clue me in....

He's a horrible human being. Charlie Manson didn't have a direct adverse impact on me either. But I still feel in my gut that he's a horrible human being. Same with Tiger. Except he doesn't have Charlie's musical skills.

[Goober McTuber]

If you don't think it takes skill to do what they're doing, then you need to go fuck some children and then go to hell.

WTF?!?

Everybody's a child to you.

Yeah, you're the extremely fat little brother I never had. Sniff, sniff.

[Dinsdale]

Funny stuff.

While some of y'all's are on such a roll, could you help me out, and remind me who is BY FAR the most charitable athlete who ever lived?

TIA and stuff.

I mean... no one here knows anyone who has ever cheated on their wife, so let's chuck those stones with abandon... right after we get done footing the $25 million bill for a school.

And I'm curious -- beside the marriage issue, what else you got? Anything? Is the the few hundred million he's given away that bothers you?

[Van]

Exactly, Dins. I'm sitting here chuckling in amusement over Screwball's and Mgo's feigned righteous indignation over the notion of a professional athlete cheating on his wife. I mean, c'mon, that shit never goes on in professional sports, right?

It's not like Michigan State's most beloved athlete of all time didn't contract the HIV virus from cheating on his wife or anything.