heres why im never getting divors ced/

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:22 am

as alot of you knwo i dont get the sex very often. id nto really care all that much ass im usually getting my drinsk and porn on anyways. but when valentins day came around, and we were b0t going to exchange stupis flowers and stuuf. so after i went and spent stupid money on a card and red looking bear and some chocolates and beer, we had some dinner. during our romatngic dinner conversation, perhaps earlier, the supbject of sex came up and i was a sho=9n to get some mostly because it was valentines day, not because my pig whore of a wife is actuallyi nto it anymore. so we get done eating steaks and potatoes and other culinary microwavables and its go time. enter the boy. the little fat fucker doestn seem to want to go to sleep until sex time has passed daddy by. and mommy doesnt want to have sex if thges a posstibklityol of the shit walking in on me going pornbq on her large backside. im pretty sure this is what happened.

me: "okay, hes asleep"

her': are you sure

me, " yep, just checked, i thinks he snoring

her" are you SURE?

me: yes im fucking sure, just let me wet the wick and ill be in and out in a nanosecond.

her: what?

me" nothing, heres my penis, heres your hand, get it ups so i can put it in.

herL: bored

long story short... i took her big fatass asnd flopped it on top and behing sthe back to make sure i got in a few half dozen positions and then when i wasl all : uuuuuuhhhhhhggggggg. i went and had some more nyquil and passed out with the condom still on me. you ever waske up the next day to that shit? not cool. you would thisnk if she really loved me she would have said something or done a bill cowher look. im probably not getting any for anothger fourtenn weeks because she says i drink to much. i was going to say something about how her butthole smelled like filthy's buddies ex[wife , but teh timing wasnt right.

thats all.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:23 am

Buwahahahahahaha!

Rack the q!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:30 am

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:37 am

she would have said something or done a bill cowher look.

strong, big strong

Filthy McNastie · Post by **Filthy McNastie** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:46 am

Fucking just about choked on my chocolate covered pretzel...!

RACK!

L8.

David_Copperfield · Post by **David_Copperfield** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 3:58 am

bbqjones wrote: my pig whore of a wife

that is always rackable

Rob Lowe · Post by **Rob Lowe** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 4:15 am

T1B

heres why im never getting divors ced/

heres why im never getting divors ced/

Re: heres why im never getting divors ced/