VP of the CC

[Derron]

Don't know if you've ever come across a guide named Donny Morrison...great big black guy

Cocksucker.

He barged his way in with that fucking sled to that public dock at Nehalem on Hwy 101 by the bridge. Cut me off, and sent a wake that knocked my fucking boat around. The OL was driving and I was trying to get my top down and one of my side flaps went in the water and fucking sank.

I cocksuckered and mother fuckered him and he just shrugs his shoulders.
I got the fucker back the next weekend, he had a boat load of "clients" and was troll plunking right by Nehalem. I went back down the river, laid the metal to the old Blue Water, got her all trimmed out and went past him about 45 mph...damn near swamped his sled, which is what I was trying to do.

I still give him the finger whenever I see him. I even flipped him off down on the Rogue a few years ago, he was down there fishing. He must have thought I was following him around.

[Dinsdale]

Don't know if you've ever come across a guide named Donny Morrison...great big black guy

Cocksucker.

Yeah, great reputation and legacy he's created. Become a regionally famous fucking asshole. How he's still in business, I don't know. You'd think as pretty much the only African American guide in the Northwest, he'd try and have some class, but I don't even think he knows what the word means.

But what comes around goes around, and somebody is going to kill that fucker on the water, one of these days. And I'll laugh my ass off about it. You reap what you sow, motherfucker. Years ago, I ran into him at the Acrpolis, where he often used to hang out after work. I was drunk, and told the guy what I thought of him.

that public dock at Nehalem on Hwy 101 by the bridge.

Greatest. Coho. Fishery. EVAR....since the finclipped stocking program kicked in. Had some good times there. I'll deal with those crowds. Buncha stupid fuckers, too. All sporting their fancy downriggers, dodgers, tossing $50 bucks worth of crap on 50# test. Dumbasses. I pull up, toss my $2.50 3/8ths BangTail, and knock the crap out of them on 10#, or sometimes even 8#...and even 6#. Yeah, I really endear myself to the masses. But often under heavy pressure, I'm the one catching the fish, which is a pretty sweet feeling when the guides are not doing very well. People can't seem to figure out that heavy gear in fairly small water isn't the best setup. Oh well, more fish for me. And sorry, if you can't control a freaking coho with 8#, you need to find a new hobby.

But then again, even some of my fishing cohorts think I'm freaking nuts. If I'm upstream, I rarely go bigger than 8#. And it's pretty rare I find a chinook I can't play out on 8#. Very rare. Native steelies in the late winter/spring...whole nother story. Got freaking spooled with 8# way upstream on the Wilson, at The Arch(between mile 27 and 28, I think). Small water, but the biggest stellie I ever saw at least came to the surface before it waved bye-bye. Straight up a freaking fast chute -- amazing. I just sat there laughing as my spool emptied. Sucker must have been well over 20 pounds, probably a lot bigger -- even accounting for "post-mortem salmonid growth."

Last time I was out at Nehalem Bay, by the dock, we literally had not one, but two fish actually jump in the boat. Of course they both flopped right back out into the water, making the story not nearly so cool, but much more believable. Fishing in a barrel up in that sucker, and it packs them in while the weather is still nice, making it super-cool. Already looking forward to this August/Sept, when the silvers keg up at Nehalem.

Few years back, me and a friend fished the incoming, right up until dusk. That public dock with the stirway straight to the bar and store is a double-edged sword -- great access to food and beer, but requires restraint. Me and my friend kept going back that day. And by the time we were done that evening (fish in the boat-btw), it was dark, and we were striaght HAMMERED. And I'll be damned if we didn't run the boat right into the concrete wall around the 101 ramp at full speed(thank goodness it was only a 10 horse). Woops. Lesson learned. But I've never seen a cop on Nehalem Bay, although I'm sure they're there. Good thing, that day. Not like Tillamook Bay, where if you blink wrong, the cops are on you like stink on poo.

I hate the crowds, but that Forks area is hard to resist. Thinking about pissing everybody off by taking a rubber raft there this summer and paddling to the island and casting. I so prefer standing on the ground to sitting in a little boat. Think that'll make me an even more popular guy there? It's all part of my plan to point out the silliness of thinking you can dictate how and where others fish. I never crowd anybody's space, ever, since I'm just not wired that way, but I get so pissed that people clip a tude just because of the type of boat you're in, or the type of gear you're using. Freaking childish. If I get tangled in your line or something, then go ahead and bitch -- until then, shut the fuck up. Chances are, I'm packing too. Let's call it a stalemate and move on, eh?

And if I decide to putt on up the lower Mainstem from there, and the old dork on that corner lot blows his freaking airhorn at me for going 6MPH in a 5MPH zone one more time...I might have to cap him, just for being such an annoying old fuck.

You know, this thread is once again reminding me how blessed I am that my parents deposited their genetic payload where they did.

[Qbert]

you fvckerz crack me UP!

in the world of internet Bullshit...you two give THE Sheeeeeit!

Props and ALL to you BOTH!

guns and fishing?

wOw

i just can't see that happening HERE for the annual Walleye RUN on the Mighty Maumee in NW Ohio.

fvcking amazing.

you guys keep the Stories Flowin'....

i'll go back to reading now---->PROPS to you BOTH.

[Dinsdale]

Anybody else still following at this point must be REALLY bored.

Sup, QBert?

Through all of that, it's not as bad as it sounds.

But, it's Oregon. I think a lot of the country percieved it as some liberal hippy-state, which is a misnomer, but true to an extent. But, you step out of the Valley(where something 80% of the state's population lives in or around), and it's pretty much a re-enactment of Deliverance.

But all in all, it's just a few bad apples spoiling the bunch. Those bad apples do exist though, and if you're not in a populated area, the rules of "frontir justice" still apply. That's why it's still perfectly legal for non-felons to carry concealed guns while fishing or hunting, or en route to fishing or hunting...no permits or special provisions required. In the rural areas, which is most of the state, it's still the Old West.

It's rarely an issue, but one still always needs to be on the lookout for Cletus and his merry band of inbreds. And sometimes, the indescribable exitement of the fall chinook runs(there's a strange and unique adrenaline rush that goes with merely being around it) brings out the worst in some people. I've also met some of the kindest, most generous people imaginable in my fishing exploits. But those people aren't nearly as much fun to talk about.

Never fished for walleye. That's serious redneck territory around here. They were illegally introduced to the Columbia about 20-30 years ago. Since then, they have flourished, and it's apparently the best fishery for trophy walleye in the world these days. I'll take their word for it, but I know people are yanking 10+ pounders out of there all day long. I think the biggest ever was about 19 pounds, or somewthing l;ike that...but I don't really follow the fishery that closely. Most of the primo walleye fishing is centered around Irrigon, which is a couple hundred miles from here upstream. Funny thing is, they're not a gamefish, and gamefish rules don't apply -- you can fish for them at night, you can snag them, and I don't believe there's any limit. The fish and feathers department doesn't even want them there. They compete with the endangered salmon of the Upper Columbia/Snake Rivers that we spend billions trying to protect. It's not to the point of the squawfish(Northern Pikeminnow), which are actually indiginous, but the dams have tilted the scales in the squawfishs' favor, and they eat way too many juvenile salmon. And the most cost-effective system the fish and game folks came up with to selectively reduce their population? They pay you to fish for them. Hit the right spots, and it's like fisahing in a barrel, and they'll give you about $5 apiece for them, on average(they pay more for big ones, and pay you more and more, the more you turn in over the season). Talk about a sweet deal...if you get laid off over the summer, you now have a new full-time job -- drinking beer and fishing, which can pay pretty well, once you get good at it.

I know the use the harvested squawfish as hatchery food. And they used to sell them as dehydrated kosher fishcakes in the Northeast. So, at various times, we've had the clowns in New York A) Buying bottles of our tap water, for a premium price, and B) Buying up the nasty shit fish we don't want, and pay people to get rid of. If that ain't U&L BODE, I don't know what is.

Weather drying....might have to make a mockery of the game of golf this afternoon.

[Ken]

Hey Dins... you ever play a course called Hawk Creek?? Just outside Neskowin on 101.

Came thiiiiiiis closed to playing that shithole. Didn't take long after I drove up to the clubhouse, errr excuse me, shack, that I decided to keep my $10 in my wallet. Best $10 I never spent.

Instead, had a fabulous shrimp pizza for din din at some cafe right there in Neskowin.

The coast is devoid of good courses from Lincoln City up to north of Neskowin. It was my intent to kill off 3/4 of a day and play golf somewhere along the coast that wasn't a five hour drive away and called Bandon. Nothing. Ended up having a nice shrimp/garlic pizza at a cafe in Neskowin for dinner and then hit some range balls at dusk at that "Quail" place you guys peak of along rt. 26(?).

[Dinsdale]

The coast is devoid of good courses from Lincoln City up to north of Neskowin. It was my intent to kill off 3/4 of a day and play golf somewhere along the coast that wasn't a five hour drive away and called Bandon. Nothing.

There's some primo courses north of Bandon, but basically...they're just north of Bandon, so pretty much a wash.

And frankly, where I live, heading towards the Coast to golf is a worthless endeavor. I can absolutely understand someone not from the area wanting to play golf, though. I mean, as you know, the coast is a pretty freaking popular vacation destination, yet getting in a decent round is a big freaking deal. And frankly, the entire economy of the coast is primarily based on tourism, so I don't understand their lack of catering to tourists.

Then agin, that whole area is a massive freaking swamp in winter, so I'm siure it causes major maintainence expenses. This is where any of the courses in The Dunes area is going to outshine a North Coast course. Plus the weather is a little nicer on the South Coast...there is that. Courses all over the Coos Bay area....but, that's only about 10-15 miles from Bandon.

But for myself, if I want to fish, I head to the coast. If I want to hack, I head for Hillsboro, or other points in the metro area.

Ended up having a nice shrimp/garlic pizza at a cafe in Neskowin for dinner

Hawk Creek Cafe. Only place to eat in Neskowin. Next door to the only store for over ten miles any direction. Closes way too early. Sucks having a rip-off mart as the only store around, when you're way too drunk to drive to Lincoln City....not that it mattered as younger men. Never saw cops, even when we did decide to head to town.

I think it's odd how people from all over the country are familiar with Neskowin, when I think the population is less than 500.

But since I know you guys dig the place (how can you not?), I'll see if I can come up with some pics of my bud's wedding there last year. I know there's some kicking around somebody's website, somewhere...just have to find them. I mention this, because like I said, smack aside (we do that here in the Golf Forum, except when we're piling on IndyFrisco for no reason whatsoever), I know you guys dig the place as much as I do, and the wedding pics...well, Mother Nature just couldn't have been any kinder to us that day, and you'll never see Neskowin in greater splendor than in these pics...trust me, I've spent a lot (two words, right?) of time oin Neskowin. A lot. Unfreaking believably spectacular pics of Proposal Rock at dusk. Simply amazing. I think there might even be shots of the petrified forest sticking up out of the beach, which is sometimes visible, and sometimes buried in the sand.

Did I mention "spectacular?"


You guys have good taste in "garden spots of the universe." Wish I still had free housing there. That didn't suck.

hit some range balls at dusk at that "Quail" place you guys peak of along rt. 26(?).

Quail Valley?

That's on Hwy 6, very near where 6 meets 26...close enough. Banks, the town is called, AKA Cranks.

Quail Valley is where Star's(tittybar) had their nude-caddie charity tournies. Visible from the highway. That went over really well.

Never played Quail. Most of my golfing buddies have, and one friend lived in the housing developement on the course. And just about every single one of those people have told me "if you want to experience the worst rudeness in the history of golf courses, go check out Quail."

Although I'm not sure anyone can compete on the rudeness front with Merriwether, I've taken their word for it. I can only hear the stories so many times before I start to believe them.

[Ken]

Speaking of Hawk Creek... for those not named Dins or Derron, that's it at the bottom of the pic.



I personally like all the bunkering around the course. Oh, and the fact it's devoid of any sort of brown, dried out areas in the fairways.

If I want to hack, I head for Hillsboro, or other points in the metro area.

Yes, there are some great courses in the greater Portland area. We've discussed this before, I believe. Last one I played was Stone Creek (I think was the name of it) in Oregon City. Prior to that, I've played Eastmoreland, and Heron Lakes. All three pretty much kick the collective asses of gov't run courses in the Pgh area. Almost played Langdon Dunes (I think was the name) a bit south of the city. Haven't done so yet. Have heard mixed reviews.

I almost took a trip further east to play a course or two when I was there last. Will be there again in August, possibly May too. Direct me to a nice course or two east of the city, within say... a 1.5 hr. drive of downtown.

[Dinsdale]

dried out areas

Rarely a problem with the North Coast, eh?

Last one I played was Stone Creek (I think was the name of it) in Oregon City.

Still haven't played it. Jacobsen/Hardy course, if I'm not mistaken. Nothing but rave reviews from my buddies, although they all seem to agree it needs a few more years to establish.

Prior to that, I've played Eastmoreland

I sooooooo :heart: "Easymoreland." Only course in SE, and gets heavy play. I'm not sure why I even tempt the fates by using the "Easymoreland" slang, since...in all my freaking years, in all my trips to Eastmoreland...I have yet to play well there once. Ever. Eastmoreland owns me. I am its bitch. And at this point, it's so deep in my dome, that I might never hit the ball straight there.

And as you know, that place is so breathtakingly beautiful for a muni, that I don't even care when I toss up a 99 or some stupid crap.

And I've been a couple of times recently...pretty deece for a heavily played course coming off one of the nastiest winters ever....not that I didn't play through much of the winter. It amazes me how nice they keep that place, considering the heavy play.

They held the US Am Championship there a while back. Probably speaks as well of a muni than any accolades I can heap on it. Eastmoreland just freaking rocks. Lost a drive on 13, the par 5 along the road, so badly right that I got a house. Played a second, and got a BIG piece of it...all the way into the intersection on the other side of the fence. Not sure if the sudden abundance of cop cars in the area were related, but I did the ole' "throw one as hard as you can down the middle, and swear with your last dying breath it was your only drive" thing. I picked up a chick on the sidewalk while walking past the Rhody Gardens between holes-btw...you know where I'm talking about.

Almost played Langdon Dunes (I think was the name)

Langdon Farms. Adjacent to I-5 in Wilsonville.

Never played that one, even though I can hop on I5 and get there in a few minutes. That place had a lot of money spent on it to allegedly make it the best draining winter course around, but I understand they're having finacial problems. And as big a gold mine as Wilsonville land has become, I would be suprised if it got razed...but I hope not.

Will be there again in August, possibly May too. Direct me to a nice course or two east of the city, within say... a 1.5 hr. drive of downtown.

With those parameters? Hell, Kah-Nee-Tah is damn0near within an hour and a half of downtown...not that I'd recommend a trip to the desert to get scalped by the Injuns.

When the day approaches, we'll talk. There's so many great places east of the city, I wouldn't even know where to begin. Depends on your preference, as far as emphasis on gameplay, scenery, or value-per-dollar. I'd almost say that the POS known as Mountain View in Boring(yup...Boring) is worth it just to see the freakish #12, but it kinda sucks overall.



And if you get a free afternoon, keep the Pub Course in mind. Not quite pure golf, but a good time is generally had by all who step to #1. Only place I've ever aced-btw...but it's hard to count it as "official" when the hole's only 45 yards...although it requires a pitch up into a maple, and then the ball "pachincos" down to the green...hopefully.

http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=3&id=48

Like I say, far from "real" golf, but very hard to not have a blast playing. Plan on spending as much time as you can there...you'll enjoy it. If you never trust me on one other thing, trust me on this. I know people who generally hate golf, but enjoy playing there. It's in Troutdale, right on a bus line, matter of fact. Take the bus, enjoy the beer...which can be obtained at, among other places, the two smallest free-standing bars in the country, or so I'm told. Basically, what I'm saying -- a 43 acre bar with 18 holes of anything doesn't suck.

The Resort at the Mountain might be a good east-of-the-city destination.

I'll think of more eastside locations. I'm a Westsider, but it's not like I don't get East pretty regularly.

[Derron]

I got to call BS on the picutre of Hawk Creek. That is Neskowin Golf Course. Hawk Creek is on the east side of 101, and has no ocean frontage or the sale price would have been 4 million instead of 2.4 million.

You guys really got to get the fuck away from the Portland area to see some good courses.

Make a trip to Brookings and play Salmon Run. I built 4 holes on that course and did a lot of the grow in work on it. It was some of the finest soil I have ever worked. No imported soils at all. Great layout, # 8 plays from an elevated blue tee to green is only 180 yards, but it is elevated about 170 feet.

Looks easy, but you'll water your first shot. Then you got range, and you just have to fucking mash it with a 5 and you can get it on the green.

Bandon Dunes, Pacific Dunes and whatever the new course is. Awesome duh?? Mike Kaiser is a rich mother fucker and has built some nice tracts. Land you jet a North Bend and catch the shuttle they will send for you.
$ 35 a round for Oregonians November to March, or was anyway.

Eagle Point at Medford is another nice one. RTJ 2 course, same dude that did Sand Pines which is worth a play as well. RTJ 2 came there for the opening in his Marathon coach, had party tents erected and paid for EVERY ONE to get drunk and play golf.

Don't bother- that one in Prineville... they use the effluent from Prinville (treated ) to water the course, but they put way to much on it and its fucking soggy in August.

Crosswater at Sunriver....any of the courses are nice, but Crosswater is the best. Pretty expensive for Oregon, I think around $ 110 a round.

Black Butte is a great play too. I like to hit the Cnetral Oregon courses in late September... nice fall play, the temps are down a bit and the scenery is awesome.

The Running Y at K Falls is worth it too. Great layout, great scenery, plays great. If your that close a run to Shastina in No Cal is not that far as well.

[Dinsdale]

I got to call BS on the picutre of Hawk Creek. That is Neskowin Golf Course. Hawk Creek is on the east side of 101, and has no ocean frontage or the sale price would have been 4 million instead of 2.4 million.

I think it's confusion. The pic looks to be taken from Hawk Creek, but it's Neskowin that you mostly see. They are kinda directly across 101 from each other.


That pic is obviously taken from the hill. Pretty sure that's 101 in the bottom of the pic, since there's only one north/south through road in Neskowin -- 101. Only road in town with painted stripes.

Did I mention that Dins knows Neskowin?

Beautiful pic, regardless. Can't see my old "stompin grounds" house...it would be just barely out of the pic to the left.

$ 35 a round for Oregonians November to March, or was anyway.

When I was working in Coos Bay, 3-4 years ago, I met a dude who worked at Bandon. I believe he said it was $50 off-season. No caddy required, either. Dud ealso said that often, the first week of Nov. can be the best week of the year -- something about how it's usually still warm on the South Coast, and is often the one week of the year the wind stops blowing.

Crosswater at Sunriver....any of the courses are nice, but Crosswater is the best. Pretty expensive for Oregon, I think around $ 110 a round.

Strange deal -- one of my golf buds very recently told me "hopefully your schedule is kinda flexible in the coming months. Be prepared to do somethrowdowns at Crosswater soon." When I enquired as to the details, none were given. Dude just said "since it's not 100% carved in stone, I don't want to say any more...but be prepared to run out and get serious at Crosswater soon." Now, I'm pretty darn curious. I'm assuming there may be some freebies involved...which would be quite freaking sweet-imo. But...talk's cheap.


[quoteBlack Butte is a great play too. I like to hit the Cnetral Oregon courses in late September... nice fall play, the temps are down a bit and the scenery is awesome. [/quote]

Never done Black Butte, but my buds tell me it's one of the funnest courses ever. And yeah, on the Dry Side, it's kinda nice to go when the humidity rises above the usual 0.00%, and it's less than 150 degrees out.

The Running Y at K Falls is worth it too. Great layout, great scenery, plays great. If your that close a run to Shastina in No Cal is not that far as well.

Where is that? Usually if I make it that far, I'll keep on a-goin until; I get to my friend's house in SF. But one of my golf buds lived in Davis for a few years, and tells me we have to go to some publix in Sacramento. He says the greens at a public course can ring up a freaking 14 on the Stint. Something about "you best bring your putting shoes."

Well, I'm off. You guys will NEVER guess where I'm off to, either...since this cool, cloudy, lightly rainy day the weatherman was promising...didn't work out that way. Like the guys on the local golf show on the radio said this morning -- there's a major price to be paid in the weather department for living here...and now, it's time to reap the reward for paying that price, and it's now time to get out and enjoy the nicest weather in the country for the next few months.

So I will. Cause goodness knows, we freaking PAID for it this last winter. Definitely on the Top-5 Worst in my lifetime. But DAAAMN, the courses are sure loving it now that it's over. Possibly the most explosive spring growth I've ever seen. The flora has really taken off at a staggering rate this spring.

[Ken]

I got to call BS on the picutre of Hawk Creek. That is Neskowin Golf Course. Hawk Creek is on the east side of 101, and has no ocean frontage or the sale price would have been 4 million instead of 2.4 million.

Could be. I completely forgot there was another course on the east side of 101. But fwiw, the one in my pic is the course on the west side taken from the east side of 101 at the top of Summit Dr. I could have sworn the one on the west side was called Hawk Creek though.

[Derron]

Where is that?

Its north west of Klamath (Catalog) Falls. Take 140 over from Medford and you drive right by it. It is a great course , never crowded, nice lodge, great place to take some chick to fuck on her for a while. Not a lot of distractions,a nd absolutley no reason to go to K Falls at all. The only thing cool to see there is the F 16's taking off from Kingsle Field in afterburner straight up at night.

He says the greens at a public course can ring up a freaking 14 on the Stint.

Maybe if they watered them instead of painting them and tried to grow some grass, they could get them stimping a bit more normal. Sounds like a putter slammer to me.