Product Review: TOTO SW2034#01 C100 WASHLET

[smackaholic]

Some of you may remember a while back when 88 came in here raving about the best gadget in history, his new dimehole washer.

Ever since I have thought to myself, self, you need to get one of those too.

Trouble is "self" is a cheap fuck. And that thing was 3 bills and change.

You can buy A LOT of TP for that money.

Then came Coronapocalypse.

Suddenly, buying TP became a little more complicated.

TP ain't so cheap if it involves a visit to the ER because someone cracked your skull with a baseball bat while battling over the last roll of Charmin at Stop & Shop.

So, I told cheap fukk me, STFU, we're doing this.

So, I got on the Amazon and a few days later, I experienced the joy of a nice warm ass-douche!!!!!

This thing is the fukking bomb!!!!

In addition to a superior method of removing shit from one's arse, there are other benefits.

Fart sucker- This thing draws the noxious fumes through some sort of filter. It says you need to clean it monthly. I haven't yet, but will soon. It definitely works. I have not been screamed at by the OL for not "spraying" post dump since it got here.

Pre-spray- Another great feature. The moment you sit down, the fart sucker powers up and it spritzes the bowl with a coat of water. This is like Pam spray for the shitter. Bowl skidmarks are greatly reduced.

Seat warmer- Niiiice. I keep it at the lowest setting because....cheap fukk.

As for the gory details of the primary feature, you have temp control, aim adjuster, regular, soft and pulsating cleansing.

And for the ladies.....front cleansing.

BTW, fellas, front cleansing does a pretty good job on the taint/ballsack region, so don't be afraid to try it out.

As with most things I buy, the engineer in me says, this is kinda cool, but I would have done it different.

These things include the aimer. It is a simple fore/after adjustment. A joystick for lateral adjustments would be sweet!!!

I would also go with a larger water heater tank. It does the job nicely, but temp starts dropping off after maybe 10 seconds.

10 seconds is plenty of time to perform the task, but you know how sometimes you just stand in a hot shower longer, just because it feels good and you don't give a fukk about global warming?

Same applies here. Yeah, I know, it's clean already, but damn this is nice, I could go a few more minutes while I finish my coffee/check email.

So, to those of you that are tired of fretting about TP supplies, do something about it. You'll thank me later.

https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW2034-01-E ... B00UCIOWRM

[Kierland]

Welcome to the 18th Century.

[smackaholic]

One other thing.

Undie skidmarks?

Thing of the past.

[smackaholic]

Welcome to the 18th Century.

Really?

I could buy a heated ass blaster with fart sucker from Amazon in the 18th century?

Do you have one?

[Kierland]

You are not very good at going to the bathroom it seems.
You probably should just ditch the ball washer and shower after every load.

Do I have a bidet? Ever since I went to Europe in ‘76.
I had to get my Dad to drive to LA to pick it up ‘cause I could not drive yet.

[Innocent Bystander]

10 seconds is plenty of time to perform the task, but you know how sometimes you just stand in a hot shower longer, just because it feels good and you don't give a fukk about global warming?

Same applies here. Yeah, I know, it's clean already, but damn this is nice, I could go a few more minutes while I finish my coffee/check email.

[Innocent Bystander]

You are not very good at going to the bathroom it seems.
You probably should just ditch the ball washer and shower after every load.

Do I have a bidet? Ever since I went to Europe in ‘76.
I had to get my Dad to drive to LA to pick it up ‘cause I could not drive yet.

That's rich ...Richie Rich

[Kierland]

No the trust officer made me pay for it.

[Python]

This thing draws the noxious fumes through some sort of filter. It says you need to clean it monthly.

Hard pass.

[smackaholic]

This thing draws the noxious fumes through some sort of filter. It says you need to clean it monthly.

Hard pass.

I will admit being a little apprehensive about this task.

I assumed it would be a replaceable charcoal deal, but the paperwork made no mention of replacements.It simply says remove, clean with water, replace.

We'll see.

88, your thoughts on fart sucker maintenance?

[Mikey]

Been using one of these for probably a couple of years and, like with the EV, will never go back to the outdated and antiquated alternative.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/03/opin ... idets.html

[smackaholic]

Rack the hell out of avoiding "away games"!

You have adapted to being an SECer very well!

[smackaholic]

Been using one of these for probably a couple of years and, like with the EV, will never go back to the outdated and antiquated alternative.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/03/opin ... idets.html

That article talks about bidets and mentions the washlet. Is that what you have?

88,

Yes, SEC tap water is very warm. When I lived in Nashville, during the summer I would take a shower with "cold" water and it was very pleasant. Prolly around 90 degrees. This is likely the explanation for your unit's endurance.

[mvscal]

So this thing mounts on to your regular toilet?

[Kierland]

Wait! What?

You tards have been talking about toilet seats?

Hillbillies.

[smackaholic]

So this thing mounts on to your regular toilet?

It IS the toilet seat of your standard shitter. Comes in round and oval bowl sizes.

Installs in 10 minutes.

I suppose if you have a trust fund, you could spend the money on a completely separate bidet next to the shitter in you spacious giant bathroom.

But, you lose the heated seat and fart sucker.

AND you have to get off the shitter and waddle over to the bidet, squat and get a blast of cold (or hot if you live in SWFLA) water.

I fail to see how this is preferable.

The all in one shitter/bidet is the way to go. Just because they did it differently in the 18th century, doesn't mean we have to do it that way now.

[smackaholic]

88,

Yes, SEC tap water is very warm. When I lived in Nashville, during the summer I would take a shower with "cold" water and it was very pleasant. Prolly around 90 degrees. This is likely the explanation for your unit's endurance.

Yes. I was not used to brushing my teeth with hot water until I moved here.

Not just hot, but highly chlorinated and in your area, prolly smells of sulfur.

Rack my well and water treatment system. Top it off with a RO filter to a tap on the kitchen counter and I have amazing water.

[Mikey]

Been using one of these for probably a couple of years and, like with the EV, will never go back to the outdated and antiquated alternative.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/03/opin ... idets.html

That article talks about bidets and mentions the washlet. Is that what you have?

88,

Yes, SEC tap water is very warm. When I lived in Nashville, during the summer I would take a shower with "cold" water and it was very pleasant. Prolly around 90 degrees. This is likely the explanation for your unit's endurance.

Yeah we got the washlet that has a remote control with two pre-set configurations, heated seat and water. No auto open and close though.

Easy to install except that I had to wire a new GFI outlet in the lavatory.

[smackaholic]

Yeah we got the washlet that has a remote control with two pre-set configurations, heated seat and water. No auto open and close though.

Easy to install except that I had to wire a new GFI outlet in the lavatory.

Same.

I ended up cutting the cord, feeding it down to the basement through the water supply line hole, splicing it back together and running it to a basement outlet via an extension cord.

Mikey, basements are caves we northeasterners dig below our houses, just to make doing this sort of shit easy.

[smackaholic]

I kind of like having the cockpit controls hardwired right there next to the seat.

I really don't need another remote to lose.

[Mikey]

I had an outlet directly on the other side of the wall, in the garage. So I just wired the new box right into that circuit. The remote is mounted on the wall right at eye height from the throne. Actually a lot more convenient than the seat mounted one.

[EAP]

This is my current set-up:

That's a sweet set up. Love the floor.

[Kierland]

A toilet seat. A god damn toilet seat? A whole fucking thread? Holes in walls? Pictures? Of a fuckin toilet seat. What will you people think of next?

[Dr_Phibes]

Seen one of those.

Was with a landlord meeting his tenants and they had that rig set up. He asked what it was, tenant says 'prepare to be amazed'! Pushed a button and water shot out of the toilet and hit landlord in the face.

Totally composed, he said 'oh, it's a bidet', and everyone filed out of the bathroom. Just pissed myself laughing.

[Innocent Bystander]

A toilet seat. A god damn toilet seat? A whole fucking thread? Holes in walls? Pictures? Of a fuckin toilet seat. What will you people think of next?

I've had to bring my own honey bucket setup to some places, because the building we were working had no water/sewer hookup. Others were large enough to provide honey bucket closets.

This thread is space age technology. We are blessed to live in an age with heated seats and haphaestial servants to wipe our asses for us. When the real apocalypse hits, this will be the age of myth.

[Innocent Bystander]

Seen one of those.

Was with a landlord meeting his tenants and they had that rig set up. He asked what it was, tenant says 'prepare to be amazed'! Pushed a button and water shot out of the toilet and hit landlord in the face.

Totally composed, he said 'oh, it's a bidet', and everyone filed out of the bathroom. Just pissed myself laughing.

He didn't get sick afterwards? Good constitution.

I can't find the post: who asked about fecal matter on the sprayer? Even if it does retract, how is it sterilized?

[Innocent Bystander]

I can't find the post: who asked about fecal matter on the sprayer? Even if it does retract, how is it sterilized?

Thank you.

1. nice final fantasy music
2. don't like the association of women with toilets
3. if it's spraying your ass, shit has to go somewhere. how does it sterilize itself before retracting?
4. making these mandatory in public places changes the game; Americans can't be trusted with this technology
5. can you control the pressure of water with the remote?
6. is a voice activated remote in the future?

[mvscal]

Americans can't be trusted with this technology

If Screwy wants to use it for a drinking fountain, that's his choice.

[Innocent Bystander]

4. making these mandatory in public places changes the game; Americans can't be trusted with this technology

It is very common in Western European hotels.
You're not disagreeing with me.

5. can you control the pressure of water with the remote?
Yes. Pressure, temp and angles, oscillations. There are models that insert a thing up your ass and deliver an enema.
More gays should advocate for it, instead of the showerhead attachment method.

6. is a voice activated remote in the future?
They are here now, as are those that can be controlled with your phone. But at some point, you are just taking a dump.
That's not what dot net says.

[Innocent Bystander]

Americans can't be trusted with this technology

If Screwy wants to use it for a drinking fountain, that's his choice.

Dude ....

(Screwy's turn to clapback.)

[smackaholic]

I just had to play a “road game”.

I feel dirty.

88, in the unfortunate event that you have to play on the road, do you go straight to your happy place the moment you get home to make things right?

Depending on what time I get home, I may just hit the shower, but if not, I will definitely be making a quick pit stop.


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[Innocent Bystander]

I just had to play a “road game”.

I feel dirty.

Travel baby wipes.

[smackaholic]

Fukk that.

Once you’ve felt the heavenly fountain, nothing else compares.


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[smackaholic]

I can't find the post: who asked about fecal matter on the sprayer? Even if it does retract, how is it sterilized?

That was creepy as fukk, yet beautiful.