Had a confrontation with the District's Caucasian underclass

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:22 pm

Yep, I had a confrontation in the laundry room with a mid/upper 60s white woman and her 40s son, who obviously lives with her.

The woman looks and smells like she's been chain smoking for 40 years and if meth was endemic in the District (and methheads could afford the rent), she'd be a candidate for Faces of Meth. The dude just looks like your typical loser 40 y/o white male who lives with his mother. You can spot these losers a mile away.

On my way upstairs, I cross paths with these two. I come downstairs later to get my shit. The laundry room is in the basement and is like this 25x10 box, so with all the laundry and dryer machines, it's tight quarters. I come downstairs and see this woman handling my laundry out of my drier. I look around, the place is a fucking disaster area from these two. Just shit everywhere. She goes "Is this yours?" "Ah...yep." She goes "oh we were waiting for you." Let me say I wear a watch and it takes 30 minutes for each load, not exactly a long time, so I'm pretty on the mark give or take 5 minutes.

Instead of screaming "DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING LAUNDRY," (NOTE: I had some laundry stolen out of the dryer around Christmas, so I'm kind of sensitive about people handling my laundry. I have to admit I've done the same, which is why I didn't get pissed at them) and realizing they were down there the entire time, I just kind of look at her and say "you know there are units on the other side, right?" She gets PISSED. "Yeah, we do." I say "Don't you have anything better to do upstairs than sit down here and watch the laundry?" She points at this sign and gets more agitated and goes "See that! We're prompt and courteous." I go "Yeah, you waited three minutes. See this watch?"

Then the guy chimes in and goes (imagine your best lukewarm IQ "southern drawl") "Don't talk to my mom like that." He wasn't angry or anything, but man, you can tell these two don't have too many firing synapses upstairs. I almost felt pity for the guy.

So I just make sure I have my shit and leave. He goes "don't worry, mom, he probably has a dumb job."

Says the 40 y/o guy who lives in a 2BR apartment with his mother and not because he's a nice guy. I can imagine this dude being like the dudes I worked with in the mailroom in Elkhart. Too fucking stupid to do anything else.

So I remember I had some towels and bedsheets I forgot about downstairs. I go down there, of course, she's there. He's gone. She's getting something out of the first dryer, so I had to kind of sneak behind her to get to my shit. I accidentally get the door as I'm sneaking behind her. Oops. Seriously, it was an accident.

SHE ERUPTS. "I HAVE 30 STITCHES THERE."

SORRY

"FUCK YOU, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE."

Me: You do realize there's a camera right there?

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CAMERA. I'M ABOUT TO GO TELL MY SON ABOUT YOUR COCKY ATTITUDE."

I'm basically just dumbfounded right now. What can I say?

She's staring a hole through my head. I grab my shit as I walk out I go

Boo fucking hoo.

"FUCK YOU!!!"

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:31 pm

WTF? You ARE the District's Caucasian underclass.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:33 pm

Screwey's Caucasian?

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:40 pm

Man...every time Screwball tells his stories of THE DISTRICT, I am just so green with envy he is there and I am here.

Mikey, not only is he caucasian, HE LIVES IN DC!

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:19 pm

Sorry...I just popped in...

...what's this about DC now? Who lives in DC?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:53 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:She's getting something out of the first dryer, so I had to kind of sneak behind her to get to my shit. I accidentally get the door as I'm sneaking behind her. Oops. Seriously, it was an accident.

SHE ERUPTS. "I HAVE 30 STITCHES THERE."

SORRY

Does this make sense to anyone else? She has 30 stitches on the door? What door? And how/why did you get it?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:54 pm

I caught the door and the door of the dryer ever so slightly hit her, but she acted like she was slighted in the 3rd degree.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:01 pm

Let me get this straight... some dude who lives in an apartment and does his laundry in a community laundry room is calling somebody else a loser?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:15 pm

But Wags -- it's in DC. So he's winning. Bi-winning even. Maybe.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:19 pm

It's a big step up from the I-295 overpass.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:23 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:Yep, I had a confrontation in the laundry room with a mid/upper 60s white woman

Just be thankful you had your confrontation with a white woman, Screwey. A coon would of stabbed you so her son could more easily rob you

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:43 pm

Cuda wrote:Just be thankful you had your confrontation with a white woman, Screwey. A coon would of stabbed you so her son could more easily rob you

I've learned a few things here, Cuddles. 1) Pick wisely who you confront...on anything. 2) Don't fuck with the kids. They have nothing to live for and act accordingly.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:12 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Cuda wrote:Just be thankful you had your confrontation with a white woman, Screwey. A coon would of stabbed you so her son could more easily rob you
I've learned a few things here, Cuddles. 1) Pick wisely who you confront...on anything. 2) Don't fuck with the kids. They have nothing to live for and act accordingly.

Yeah, Nancy, we noticed that you didn’t fuck with the old lady till her kid wasn’t around.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:22 pm

You mean 40 y/o manchilds? And yes he was there.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:29 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:You mean 40 y/o manchilds? And yes he was there.

Screw_Michigan IN HIS FIRST FUCKING POST wrote:So I remember I had some towels and bedsheets I forgot about downstairs. I go down there, of course, she's there. He's gone. She's getting something out of the first dryer, so I had to kind of sneak behind her to get to my shit. I accidentally get the door as I'm sneaking behind her. Oops. Seriously, it was an accident.

SHE ERUPTS. "I HAVE 30 STITCHES THERE."

SORRY

"FUCK YOU, YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE."

Me: You do realize there's a camera right there?

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CAMERA. I'M ABOUT TO GO TELL MY SON ABOUT YOUR COCKY ATTITUDE."

Nice story, though, General Peters.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:53 pm

Cuda wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:Yep, I had a confrontation in the laundry room with a mid/upper 60s white woman
Just be thankful you had your confrontation with a white woman, Screwey. A coon would of stabbed you so her son could more easily rob you

Big Barracuda makes me laff.

Screw, did you run into any Ques over the weekend? D.C. has some of the finest women I've ever seen and I can't wait to come back in September. Should be cooler and I will be more focused on booty than Brothers.

Kansas City Kid · Post by **Kansas City Kid** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:11 pm

When did RuPaul and his moms move to DC?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:33 pm

Is RuPaul a caucasion, you fucking moron? Have you ever thrown up a post worth reading?

Cosmo Kramer · Post by **Cosmo Kramer** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:56 pm

War Wagon wrote:Let me get this straight... some dude who lives in an apartment and does his laundry in a community laundry room is calling somebody else a loser?

FUCKING CLASSIC!!!!

Kansas City Kid · Post by **Kansas City Kid** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:31 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Is RuPaul a caucasion, you fucking moron? Have you ever thrown up a post worth reading?

He was in the puffy coat photo he posted here you worthless sack of shit. And WTF is a "caucasion" you illiterate shit chugger?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:04 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Is RuPaul a caucasion, you fucking moron? Have you ever thrown up a post worth reading?

One of the many thousands of names hurled at KC Paul was "KC RuPaul." I think it was because Paul bended his fan loyalties the way RuPaul bended gender identity.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:07 pm

Goober McTuber wrote: caucasion - moron

Kind of all fits nicely....Have some spelling smack, dumbass.

Where's your pilot fish...oh yeah, he started this thread.

Cosmo Kramer · Post by **Cosmo Kramer** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:18 am

His name was actually RuPaul Walker Lindh. :paul:

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:06 am

How about a laundry room PET, Screw?

*From the District*

Could be good.

!!!

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:22 am

Cosmo Kramer wrote:His name was actually RuPaul Walker Lindh. :paul:

The Walker Lindh was a nice variant, especially since it cause Paul to go Krakatoa after it was dropped on him. But the original RuPaul name existed pre 911/shoebomber days.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:40 am

i have one of those fancy shmancy front loader washers.....in my basement.....where i don't have to share it.

anyhooo, the last few months it has developed a little glitch where it occasionally doesn't do it's normal high speed spin at the end, resulting in soggy laundry. it is likely a faulty door closed sensor, or so says the interweb experts. fortunately, those same experts showed me the work around. press a few buttons, turn the dial and make it spin in diagnostic mode.

the OL's been whining and bitching about having to do this. i've offered to buy her a brand new warsh board. so far, she's declined that offer. i should just have her read this thread. or maybe invite the homeless to use our machine.

btw, does anyone have a spare frigidaire front loader door latch mechanism?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:20 pm

I always thought that if there was a such thing as a can't miss business opportunity, it would have to be a combination tittie bar/laundermat located within 2 miles of a military base.

When I lived in Norfolk, I do believe that someone had opened a bar/laundermat, but, not a tittiebar/laundermat.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 12:26 pm

smackaholic wrote:I always thought that if there was a such thing as a can't miss business opportunity, it would have to be a combination tittie bar/laundermat located within 2 miles of a military base.

When I lived in Norfolk, I do believe that someone had opened a bar/laundermat, but, not a tittiebar/laundermat.

In Rochester there is a laundromat situated between 2 bars. They do a huge business at night.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:32 pm

I'm all for a good Screw pile-on, but this one is weak. 20-somethings living in "the city" are probably renters, and are probably forced to endure the horrors of...gulp...community laundry! OHMYGAWW!! That's just the way it is. But I'm sure all of you silver spooned suburbanites have been blessed with home ownership and all its luxuries your entire adult lives. Good for you.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:05 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'm all for a good Screw pile-on, but this one is weak. 20-somethings living in "the city" are probably renters, and are probably forced to endure the horrors of...gulp...community laundry! OHMYGAWW!! That's just the way it is. But I'm sure all of you silver spooned suburbanites have been blessed with home ownership and all its luxuries your entire adult lives. Good for you.

did the commie laundry thing as a single twenty something for a short spell. never did get rolled by cliff claven and his maw though.

i guess he does deserve a small rack for having to endure this rather than just having his mom do it.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:27 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:But I'm sure all of you silver spooned suburbanites have been blessed with home ownership and all its luxuries your entire adult lives. Good for you.

Spent every penny I had saved up working from age 11-22 (yes, I worked on and off at a hardware store for 8 years and 5 years at the golf course, 1 year co-op and college summers making potatoes at Jason's Deli while taking classes) and b-day money/graduation money to buy a 3BR/2B house right out of college putting the minimum 3% down for an FHA loan and furnishing it. Renting is for suckers, man. If Screwball really has a job that doesn't require a mop and gives him a few nickles to rub together, he could probably afford housing that doesn't require a community washer/dryer.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:38 pm

smackaholic wrote:i have one of those fancy shmancy front loader washers.....in my basement.....where i don't have to share it.

anyhooo, the last few months it has developed a little glitch where it occasionally doesn't do it's normal high speed spin at the end, resulting in soggy laundry. it is likely a faulty door closed sensor, or so says the interweb experts. fortunately, those same experts showed me the work around. press a few buttons, turn the dial and make it spin in diagnostic mode.

the OL's been whining and bitching about having to do this. i've offered to buy her a brand new warsh board. so far, she's declined that offer. i should just have her read this thread. or maybe invite the homeless to use our machine.

btw, does anyone have a spare frigidaire front loader door latch mechanism?

Used to have a top of the line Whirlpool front loader, but it kept having problems. Gasket came loose, drain clogged up, pump burned out. Eventually it had a musty odor that wouldn't go away.

Eventually dumped it and got one of these top-loaders. It does a bigger load in a smaller space, and has a direct drive DC motor which makes it more efficient and reliable, and it has like a 90,000 RPM spin cycle. OK, it's only 1000 RPM but some clothes hardly need any drying after coming out.

We still have the Whirlpool dryer after 12 years, BTW. It still works great though I've had to replace the plastic dial a couple of times.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:03 pm

Did the skank take away your blueballs?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:14 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:If Screwball really has a job that doesn't require a mop and gives him a few nickles to rub together, he could probably afford housing that doesn't require a community washer/dryer.

You obviously have no clue about the DC housing market.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:17 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:If Screwball really has a job that doesn't require a mop and gives him a few nickles to rub together, he could probably afford housing that doesn't require a community washer/dryer.
You obviously have no clue about the DC housing market.

Testify, brougham.

Most of these cheesedicks live in plastic, suburban, gated communities.

Represent the Dee to tha' Cee, Screw.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:18 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:If Screwball really has a job that doesn't require a mop and gives him a few nickles to rub together, he could probably afford housing that doesn't require a community washer/dryer.
You obviously have no clue about the DC housing market.

I know I could take my talents TO DC and own a house.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:40 pm

Are you talking IN the District itself, or surrounding jurisdictions? How many bedrooms would you need? Yard? Are you willing to give up your 27 flat-screen TVs? You'll need room for those. Or at least storage. Etc.

Again, you are clueless. I'm sure you could afford a house here in the city or in the burbs. It is going to cost you way more than you think.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:05 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I'm all for a good Screw pile-on, but this one is weak. 20-somethings living in "the city" are probably renters, and are probably forced to endure the horrors of...gulp...community laundry! OHMYGAWW!!

I thought he was renting a condo? Any half assed condo should have a washer and dryer hook up and enough space for at least one of those small over/under units.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:39 pm

You do NOT want to talk about DC housing with someone who lives IN THE DISTRICT. Hell, you even BREATHE in the clean, hermetically flavored air of THE DISTRICT requires at least a Level III jizzmopper grade. Shit, to LIVE in THE DISTRICT??? You better be at LEAST a Level VI Jizzmopper with a couple of time in grade stripes. And you don't even want to KNOW what you need to own a HOME in THE DISTRICT. Shit, even Obama can't afford to own a HOME in THE DISTRICT. He's got to live in some 200 year old rental unit.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 10:11 pm

BSmack wrote:Shit, even Obama can't afford to own a HOME in THE DISTRICT. He's got to live in some 200 year old rental unit.

That's not a bad idea. We should be charging him rent. After all, he's living in our house. Either that or the President shouldn't be paid at all.