Rootbeer Trivia

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:14 pm

LTS TRN 2 wrote:your yammering is really unreadable. And boring.

But not mine.

Your previous post in this thread sucked so badly, it was deleted. Can you explain this?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:43 pm

As I explained, D-style, the cowardly pussies who delete posts are nervous and scared. That's the short answer.

As for the deeper reason of their fear, let's check in with America's leading paramilitary Christer/Capitalist war-mongerer, Erik Prince,

Hi kids, and thanks Nick, because I think most folks don't understand the degree to which I am emeshed in the the overall strategy of this administration in its efforts to develope and maintain a PERMANENT state of warfare for America, and moreover, how this new warfare will be largely privately contracted and conducted--with NONE of the pesky oversight regulations and laws getting in our way to promote Christian/Capitalist values abroad and at home.

You see, I'm a fanatical Zionist/Christian with a rapacious desire to make money. I hate big government and so I make ALL my money through a bloated and untraceable series of NO-BID government contracts (!!) doled out by my good buddy Dick Cheney, whom of course you know as your "vice-president." I know him as the de facto head of Kellog, Root and Brown, a giant shadowy company that introduced me into the world of gigantic contracts and the subsequent untraceable BILLIONS of dollars that follow.

Now, as to what we do...I run a 5,000 acre training facility in North Carolina where my company, Blackwater, has created the LARGEST mercenary army in the world. And, yes, I'm soon to open a new similar facility about thirty miles outside Chicago.

Blackwater contractors roam and maraude at their pleasure in Iraq, with NO binding laws or authority governing them. They are immune to prosecution, and their actions remain hidden from public view--no information as to casualties incurred or administered.

Getting the picture?

Now perhaps you'd like to ignore all of this--and wallow in childish blather as to "Rootbeer's" bowel movements and the shared hilarity of such imagery, but like a bawling babe in a messy diaper, you need to be cleaned up and Awakened, as it were. Potty trained. Get it?

SO, DROP for fifty, you man-titted butterballs, and start realizing that you could make a solid six-figure salary as a contractor, shooting folks and kicking in doors, etc.

And, yes, you can ride in the helicopter

Of course, if you get killed, DO NOT attempt to sue us, etc.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:53 pm

LTS TRN 2 wrote:As I explained, D-style, the cowardly pussies who delete posts are nervous and scared. That's the short answer.

You were money in Conspiracy Theory, LikesToSuckoffTrannies2... when does the sequel hit the big screen?

Hopefully, "they" delete your ID and ban your IP. Not because I'm "scared" of you, but rather, this MB ain't big enough for two IndyClowns.

Off this shit thread.

velocet · Post by **velocet** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:07 pm

Ya know, LSD TRANNY has some posting ability to be admired. No, seriously. It's just that he's wacked out when it comes to timing and approach it seems. His aim is off by a wide margin. Sure his sociopolitical angle has its place if posters were actually arguing that stuff but he invokes it all the time, even to decry a discussion involving taking a dump.

It is as though he's bent on getting the message out there to both a wider audience AND a narrower, more visible, influential and powerful group.

That just comes off as insane when one understands that this board is suffering from diminishing readership (so much for appealing to the great masses) and on the other score the most famous personality on this board is JessTheRookie (jtr).

Stay gold, Nick Quixote.

velocet

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:46 pm

LTS TRN 2, I am interested in hearing more about this Blackwater conspiracy. Would you please start a thread about it? I'd hate to see the discussion get lost in this trifling mess of toilet bowls and real life conundrums. Thanks a pile.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:31 pm

Uh, I think Mr. Prince said you should be doing some push-ups at this time, no?

Erik Prince likes to lay low, so apparently that's why he felt the comfortable embedding his mea culpa in your thread.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:21 pm

Erik is crafty and wise. He deserves our respect. Let us all hold our gratitude rock and chant with Erik.

Ei tunâ vompah suunï, covum da en tuntahhhhh

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:53 pm

I have no idea why this shit thread still has legs two weeks after the fact. We all know Rootbeer is a shared troll.

I'd be offended if anyone PMed me the password. Really. Offended.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 1:56 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote: I'd be offended if anyone PMed me the password. Really. Offended.

I'll think about it.

Do you want to run the Broken Staple troll in the mean time?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:33 am

No one gives a fuck what's "rootbeer"

Picture a circle drawn around your power..

we're moving in

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:47 pm

um, hi.

i just wanted to drive right by and state,
for the record that I think Uncle Bace is smoking hot, as always
(even if he is a bit of a bastard at times.)
and that Cuda is such a gentleman that I really would cook dinner for him and eh
that Dinsdale (who also is a bit of a bastard)
is always invited over for fancy schmancy frozen drinks
from my $180 blender.

Thank you and goodnight.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Mar 30, 2007 11:54 pm

!zzubevol wrote:Dinsdale is always invited over for fancy schmancy frozen drinks
from my $180 blender.

You were meant for me.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 2:55 am

LTS TRN 2 wrote:No one gives a fuck what's "rootbeer"

Picture a circle drawn around your power..

we're moving in

I really need to get in contact with these Blackwater people. Iran needs to release those British soldiers or face the wrath or Eric Whatshisface.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 7:18 am

Gotta admit, that's some quality sabre-rattlin'...of course there's no army, let alone ours, ready to do jack shit against ANYONE in Iran. We can barely keep our National Guard and Reservist "troops" extended again and again in their nightmare service in Iraq, AKA "the Mother Of All Quagmires." Suffice to say, Blackwater needs the big plow of the U.S. military ( or Katrina) leading the way to make their strutting free-shooting money. And the plow (of which Ike so sincerely warned us) ain't going nowhere.

Think Nuremberg Noose for Cheney. C'mon.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Sat Mar 31, 2007 7:24 am

LTS TRN 2 wrote:

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 2:30 am

So you're saying that Blackwater isn't black ops per se but is more like black leeches. They wait for the military to wage war and move in before they show up and mooch off the system? That sucks, man. With a cool name like Blackwater you'd think they would have a little more honor. Jerks.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 6:49 am

Uh, gee..you're starting to WAKE THE FUCK UP!! Congrats. Yep, they're "jerks" alright. And, moreover, they're serious THIEVES--stealing YOUR hard-earned tax dollars by the bargeload while you dither in some fake nervous POSE as a...sort-of conservative--but still sensible and intelligent...informed but firm...concerned but wallowing in some idiotic (fake) John Wayne paradigm of "American Exceptionalism" (as you're reminded by the hillbilly-heroin hacks like Rusp Limpdick)...

And really you're nowhere...and you know that...and that's why you could actually sign onto a sci-fi cult like the Mormons..

Wanna know why the world is so fucked up? Look in the mirror.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:46 pm

I've been thinking about transferring citizenship to Belize or Chilé. All this UN global warming legislation talking about levying carbon taxes on backyard barbecues, the Supreme Court ruling that States can sue the Bush Administration, Nancy Pelosi playing subversive Foreign Policy in Chief, George W. Bush being a mewling fuggin' pansy every time he's in front of a camera, etc. I'm beginning to HATE my government and I live in one of the only conservative meccas left in America. My state votes 75% republican but I disagree with almost everything that happens outside my state borders and with state rights disintegrating faster than the panty panel in missjo's camoflage undies I'm afraid the system might be broken beyond repair. I hear Chilé is nice. Especially this time of year.

Would that make me part of the solution? If I stop paying US taxes my money won't be funding Eric Blackballer and his band of Zorro wannabes.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:57 pm

If I stop paying US taxes my money

You'd have to start first, Compounder.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:00 pm

PSU, how did you know about my Charitable Remainder Trust? You're a smart cookie, I'll give you that.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:13 pm

Charitable Remainder Trust?

Is that what you cultists call commodes? Glad to hear you've moved on from trenches...

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:17 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
Charitable Remainder Trust?
Is that what you cultists call commodes? Glad to hear you've moved on from trenches...

If commode = crap shelter
and taxes = crap
then CRT = commode

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:19 pm

Rootbeer wrote:Remainder

OUT!!

Oh, you said "remainder"...I misread...nevermind.

Sin,
Kevnic

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:20 pm

Well, comparative analysis has apparently penetrated Utah at long last...

I thought all incoming was being handled by cinder

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:29 pm

Dins, I don't get it. I've only been on this board for a couple weeks. Take it easy on a brother.

PSU wrote:I thought all incoming was being handled by cinder

PSU, if you ever visit Utah do NOT drive through any oval tunnels. If you do, don't ever stop the car! But if for some reason you do, don't EVER lose your keys. That's my only warning on the subject.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:48 pm

Is that the Moab Skyline, or BB's incisor range?

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 4:50 pm

I wonder if her gutted TaunTaun gash has a ring of black decay around it like her incisors do?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:10 pm

Wonder no longer. A PM will probably elicit a stratigraphic viewing

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:26 pm

OCmike wrote:I wonder if her gutted TaunTaun gash has a ring of black decay around it like her incisors do?

Fucking brutal. Under your Nic, it should read "King of all Blondie Babe Smack", instead of eternal scobode.

I think I like the "eggs nailed to a fence" line slightly better, though.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:28 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote: I think I like the "eggs nailed to a fence" line slightly better, though.

I didn't like that much, at all. There's a fine line between "smack" and "brutal reality."

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 5:59 pm

OCMike, I don't know if you know this but I met Blondie a year before anyone else. I probably should have warned y'all but I didn't. Sorry about that.

I've only told my Cinder story in private. Not sure it's fit for public viewing.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 6:10 pm

Is Blondie a squirter?

"I think I hit an artery!"

sin, huuuunghh

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:37 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
OCmike wrote:I wonder if her gutted TaunTaun gash has a ring of black decay around it like her incisors do?

Fucking brutal. Under your Nic, it should read "King of all Blondie Babe Smack", instead of eternal scobode.

I think I like the "eggs nailed to a fence" line slightly better, though.

I'll wear my title with pride.

Rootbeer, you do owe us an apology, fucker! My God, that gaping maw looked like it was full of 32 burnt kernels of corn. Ugh.

I had always heard that meth addicts had horrid tooth decay, but had never seen it in person until she invaded SoCal. I mean, I've known plenty of trailer-dwelling Joe Diffie-loving white trash meth-head motherfuckers in my day and even one with a tiny rotten spot right between his two front teeth. But never have I seen a front grille that looked like someone had had their bicuspids decay-plated by electrolysis.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Apr 03, 2007 8:54 pm

OCmike wrote: Rootbeer, you do owe us an apology, fucker! My God, that gaping maw looked like it was full of 32 burnt kernels of corn. Ugh.

32? Bullcrap and bwa ha ha. She had a lot of crags in that igneous crater but a full set of 32 licorice Chiclets is a bit of a stretch don't ya think?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 1:09 am

Rootbeer wrote:a bit of a stretch

I thought the discussion was about her piehole.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 1:04 pm

OCmike wrote: I mean, I've known plenty of trailer-dwelling Joe Diffie-loving white trash meth-head motherfuckers in my day...

My apologies to Joe Diffie. The song I was thinking of when I typed that was sung by some schmoe named Johnny Rebel. Here it is:

The house next door to me has been sold to mvscals.

The house next door to me has been sold to mvscals.
The claim to be wild indians from the plains.
Oh, but they ain't a-shuckin' me, they're colored people.
We'll make cowboys and mvscals our new game.

Last light when I come home, I was warmly greeted.
But not by my sweet wife saying, "Hello dear."
Instead is was, "Hello dar, white mammy-jama."
Says, "How does you like us dark folks livin' here?"

I'd sell my house, but I ain't had no offers.
Though I paid twenty thousand, I'd take two.
Oh, this mvscal crap's done killed all my red roses.
And my violets turned black instead of blue.

Last night the N.A.A.C.P. came a-callin'.
I didn't know what it was all about.
Oh, but it didn't take me long to understand them.
When they said, "Won't you kindly move your white butt out."

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:58 pm

If I knew how many syllables are in mvscals I might be able to sing that song but there's no way I could dance to it.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Sun Jan 22, 2023 12:23 am

Bump. This thread is 16 years old? Jeez.

I'm here for Dirty Dave's show but I'll answer questions if you guys want to know anything. Responses will be mostly true.

Sudden Sam · Post by **Sudden Sam** » Sun Jan 22, 2023 12:31 am

Holy fuckin’ shit!

Who’s next? Mikethedrunkencoloradofan? Cinder? Tarkus? Ucant?

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sun Jan 22, 2023 12:59 am

Booger wrote: ↑Sun Jan 22, 2023 12:31 am Holy fuckin’ shit!

Who’s next? Mikethedrunkencoloradofan? Cinder? Tarkus? Ucant?

Definitely not Cinder...

T1B

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